Sometimes in life it’s hard not to feel fed up, de-motivated and drained. Lots of things can contribute to this feeling; being around other people who suck the energy out of us, facing difficult challenges, pulling ourselves back up after experiencing something that did not go well.
As a coach, I have met a lot of clients who have overcome extremely difficult circumstances; people who have found a way to regroup and get on with life. I decided to collect some of their suggestions for ways to manage grey days. Taking a step out of the gloom can feel like really hard work, but once you get on your way, things can change for the better a step at a time.
Have a look at my article here to see what they suggested.
Once in a while, I have a client who comes to me feeling that something is missing in their life, but they just can’t put their finger on what it is.
They say things like: “I just don’t feel like myself anymore, but I don’t know why.” “I feel like I am just going through the motions.” “I want more in life, but I can’t figure out what that is.”
Not knowing what’s missing makes it hard to know what the options are, what action to take. It can be useful to explore thoughts and feelings from different angles using brainstorming techniques. I have talked about a number of approaches in an article I published on the Life Coach Directory, which you can access here: http://www.lifecoach-directory.org.uk/lifecoach-articles/personal-development-what-are-you-missing
Low self-confidence can stop you from performing at your best. It can hide you away in a place where others can’t see or hear what you have to offer; it can rob you of your potential to thrive and grow; it can make you feel small. Sometimes there is so much negative, self-sabotaging chatter going on in your own head that you find it hard to have the courage to stand tall, speak up, and be yourself.
I came across a very interesting technique the other day that I would like to share with you – it’s called “Positive Journalling”. The idea of keeping a journal of thoughts and feelings has been around for a long time. The “Positive” approach can help boost your mood, motivation, and the way you feel about yourself.
So what is Positive Journalling and how can it help with self-confidence?
It’s so easy in life to think about the negative things. We aren’t thin enough, smart enough, interesting enough. And the more we think about limitations, the more limiting these things become. It can affect us at work, in social situations, and at home. Because we can become so focused on “the half-empty glass”, we often overlook the good things about our selves and our lives. Positive Journalling works because it brings focus back to the things that are positive in life, even if they are very small. Developing a habit of noticing these positive things can help improve how you feel about yourself.
Here are some instructions:
Get yourself a special journal for this, one that makes you feel happy when you look at it; one that most connects with who you are. It may have a beautiful cover on the front, or be in your favourite colour. Make sure it is in a size that lets you write comfortably; one with a spiral binding can work well.
Every day, write down positive experiences, thoughts, and feelings. These can be things you have thought about yourself, or things about others that you noticed. They can be experiences of places or things. You can also include pictures, drawings, doodles, poems…anything that represents a positive experience, thought or feeling.
This need take no more than a few minutes each day; it’s easiest if you make it part of your daily routine, perhaps writing down your thoughts either when you wake up, or just before bed. Here are some ideas to help get you started:
In addition to helping you notice the good things about yourself and your life, your Positive Journal can be something upbeat and beautiful on the days when your confidence needs a boost.
Spring is a time for new growth, a time when things come back to life after the short, dark winter days. It can also be a time to think about our own personal development. How has life been? Do you want to try something new? What do you want more of? What do you want to leave behind? Coaching and hypnotherapy can help you break old habits, change unhelpful thoughts and feelings, discover new options, and take action to improve life and work. Although a number of people know about coaching, I am often asked many questions about hypnotherapy. Here are some FAQs:
Hypnotherapy uses hypnosis to induce a state of deep mental and physical relaxation, during which beneficial changes can occur. The aim of hypnotherapy is to help clients find meaningful alternatives to their present unsatisfactory ways of thinking, feeling or behaving. It also helps clients become more accepting of themselves, and can unlock their inner potential. As a coach, hypnosis is one of the tools I use in conjunction with Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) and cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT).
Evidenced-based research supports the effectiveness of hypnotherapy. The British Medical Journal states that:
[BMJ 1999;319: 1346-1349 ‘Hypnosis and relaxation therapies,’ Vickers & Zollman]
Typically, hypnotherapy takes between four to six sessions; however, everyone is unique.
No. You will be aware of what is going on, however you will focusing inside. One of my clients described the sensation as a very comfortable, relaxing state that allowed him to shut off everyday sights and sounds so that he could really focus on what he wanted to achieve.
No. Contrary to what you might have seen in stage shows or on TV, you cannot be made to do anything you don’t want to do during hypnosis. You always have full control and can break out of it at any time if you are uncomfortable.
Virtually anyone can be hypnotised, depending on their willingness. Some people find it easier than others to be hypnotised initially, but with practice and a personal approach, hypnotisability can be greatly increased.
CBT focuses on the relationships between thoughts, feelings and behaviours. Negative thought patterns can affect the way you feel, which in turn affects how you behave. CBT can help change negative thoughts and feelings, resulting in different behaviour. For example, I have used CBT with hypnotherapy to help many clients overcome issues such as a fear of public speaking, lack of confidence, and stress.
Please get in touch if you are interested in finding out how I can help you become more of the person you would like to be.
Today, more than ever before, there are challenges to perform effectively under pressure, keep up with technology, manage ourselves and other people well…and have a work / life balance.
Coaching helps you stand back and reassess priorities both inside and outside of work, taking into account your personality, values, environment and unique skills. Specific goals are created that can be measured by evidence as the coaching process proceeds. As well as exploring ways to achieve goals, we look at what might be holding you back; this could be a lack of confidence, fear, or insufficient resources.
Clients often say to me that their sessions have been “life changing”. That sounds like a good reason to bother.